I was afraid that we were losing Rem again. He was probably spiralling back towards depression, and we all knew that it was mostly because his mind was in so much turmoil over our complicated family situation. Our parents felt awful about it, I knew, but they also didn’t want to risk letting Rem go back. They didn’t even seem to want to try mending fences with the fairies. Or then they wanted to, but didn’t know how to go about it.
Alvar and Kielo had visited only once after the argument. The visit was brief and tense, with a lot of clipped words and strained smiles. When they left, Alvar was nearly in tears and Rem locked himself in his room. Patrick looked devastated and mum tried her best to support him even as she too fought tears. Merrill was left among depressed and confused people, his eyes wide and going from one person to another until Patrick finally took him in his arms and hugged him tight. We didn’t even try to pretend that things were okay. None of us really knew what to do.
I lay in my bed that night, awake even as the clock struck four a.m. It was going to be a school day tomorrow, and I knew I’d be a zombie if I didn’t get any sleep. But my mind was too full of thoughts and problems to fall asleep. Sometimes I got up to write, but even that didn’t make me feel better. We were a mess. Again. Why couldn’t our lives ever stay fixed?
Maybe that was just how lives went; ups and downs and all that. Some had more downs than ups. I tried to figure out if we were just always going downhill or if we had enough happiness to balance it out. Maybe we did. But that was again one of those moments when I found it hard to see anything in a positive light. Maybe even us staying together as a family and loving each other was bad because that just made us feel like we always had too much to lose.
No, I decided then and would always decide. Us being a family couldn’t be a mistake. Loving and caring for others had to have something good in it. Always. Even when it backfired.
We just had to figure this out. We had to decide whether we could trust the fair folk or not. And we needed to decide what to do about Donna. She had suffered a lot and probably deserved none of it. Sure, she had acted horribly towards Rem back when we’d gone to see her, but I could understand her lashing out. I wasn’t a mum, but I could imagine that being one and then losing one’s child and no one doing anything about it was so awful that I didn’t even have the words for it. And I had a feeling that Donna had even less words for her pain; it was too close and too horrible.
I curled up in my bed, staring at the slivers of starlight that speared my window. The night was too beautiful for depression, I decided, and then frowned at the patch of night sky I could see. Why couldn’t the night be more fitting for the mood? It was an incredibly childish thought, I knew. But sometimes being childish and thinking silly thoughts was all I could do.
I dragged myself over to Sabine’s place the next day after school even though I – just as I’d predicted – felt like a zombie. We made some salad together and I managed to eat it even though I didn’t feel like eating. The salad was tasty and fresh, but it slid down my zombified throat like papier-mâché.
“Well, what’s the matter?” Sabine asked when we had sat down in her living room after dinner, “You look like your gears got stuck.”
“Like you have too many things on your mind. Things that don’t fit together.”
I raised a brow.
“Wow. That’s a pretty good way to describe it,” I sighed, “I didn’t get much sleep. Family issues.”
“Ah,” Sabine nodded, “Those usually cut the deepest.”
There was a faraway look in her eyes, and I knew she was thinking about her own family issues. About Félix.
“What would you do if a group of people you want as a part of your family kept doing things that made you question whether they can be trusted or not?” I asked, trying to be vague or at least sound like I wasn’t talking about magical things.
“I think trust is very important. Why would you want untrustworthy people in your family? Are they related by blood?”
“Sort of,” I said, “And they’ve been really helpful and I know they want us to be family too. And thanks to them my brother is dealing with his life much better. But… it’s… complicated.”
“Family matters often are,” Sabine said, “These things these people have done… are they very bad?”
I wanted to say yes. Because they were. But on the other hand, the ones who had made the worst mistakes had been Taru and Villia, and they were both dead. And Kielo… she had wiped Donna’s memories, yes, but I could actually believe that she had done so in self-defence. But the threat of them again doing something harmful was still there. I had come to realise that the stories about the weird morality of fairies had quite a bit of truth in them. Sure, they didn’t seem quite as twisted or fey as the fair folk in a lot of the stories, but there was still something… off about them. I hated thinking like that. It made me feel prejudiced. But the fair folk had sort of brought our doubts upon themselves by doing such awful and stupid things.
“I don’t know,” I finally said, “They’ve mostly just kept things from us. And told lies. But then again, they’ve also been protecting themselves because they’re a bit afraid. And I don’t want to disrespect that, but I also don’t want our family to get in trouble or broken.”
I shook my head.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump this all on you.”
“I don’t mind you sharing your worries,” Sabine said, “I feel like I’ve been dumping my fair share of worries on you too.”
“Well, you may not think I’ve said that much, but compared to decades of keeping everything to myself, it’s a lot. As for your problem, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any readymade answers for you.”
“It’s okay,” I said quickly.
Sabine smiled, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth making her face look surprisingly more alive.
“But I can tell you this: if you ever get a feeling that you will regret deciding something, then you should think very hard before you actually decide. And problems usually don’t go away unless you try to solve them. Even if it requires facing things and people that are painful.”
Her smiled became sad and almost bitter.
“I wish I’d have taken that advice so many years ago. Now it’s too late.”
I nodded silently. I didn’t really know what to say.
“So how’s the rest of your family taking this all?” Sabine asked.
“Not that well,” I said, “Rem’s especially pretty depressed. And my mum and dad are also… conflicted. We’re all torn.”
“Then I’d say you should figure things out,” Sabine said. She was sometimes so blunt that she sounded rude, but I really appreciated her direct comments. At least with her I didn’t need to dig out the true meaning behind her words.
“I know,” I said, “Thanks, Sabine.”
“You’re welcome. Giving a bit of advice is the least I can do when you waste all this time helping me.”
“It’s not wasting time if I like it,” I said for the nth time. Sabine let out a short, dry laugh.
“Maybe we shouldn’t start this old argument again.”
I nodded and we fell into a comfortable silence. I let my mind wander and looked out the windows. Spring was already here. It was always so fast in Sunset Valley. Something akin to winter shifting to blooming flowers in the blink of an eye.
“It’s really nice outside,” I said.
“Yes, it is.”
“When was the last time you got out of here?” I had to ask, “Other than to buy groceries?”
“I don’t remember.”
She looked at me with narrowed eyes.
“What? Are you planning on dragging an old woman out there into the world? Like that would somehow solve something?”
I looked out the window again.
“No. I’m not that idealistic,” I said, “But I might still drag you out someday. Because it would be fun for you too. A little change of pace.”
Sabine smiled and shook her head.
“I’m too old for changes of pace.”
“No one’s too old for that.”
“You just said you’re not that idealistic,” Sabine almost laughed, “Well, I’ll think about it.”
Even though Sabine’s words or almost-smile didn’t make my or my family’s problems disappear, they did make me feel a little better.
I think I managed to keep my mood pretty good for the next few days, by focusing on school and friends and sometimes talking with mum.
At the moment mum was the most level-headed of us about this matter. She was worried and maybe even scared, sure, but she wasn’t as livid as Patrick seemed to be, or as depressed as Rem.
“We just need some time to think,” she kept saying, “But we’re not going to just leave things hanging for too long.”
She glanced towards the yard, where Patrick was tending to his vegetable garden with a very preoccupied look on his face. He didn’t even seem to notice that it was raining.
“I really hope we can get this settled. Patrick wants Alvar to visit again. But it’s… complicated.”
“Yeah,” I said, “Tell me about it.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking that maybe we should try to invite them over. To talk to them.”
She frowned a bit.
“And I’ve been thinking about Donna as well… I don’t know her, and from what I’ve heard, she has done and said some unpleasant things to Patrick and Rem. But I understand her a little bit. One’s children being taken… it’s like being ripped apart.”
I nodded silently.
“I’ve been contemplating on calling her after all,” mum said, “Or letting Patrick call her. Maybe it’ll be a disaster, but I do think she deserves to know.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, “But Donna was… I can believe she lashed out at Kielo. I… the fair folk may be ambiguous, but I think that a lot of them are trying.”
“I think so too. In this world… it’s sometimes difficult to do the right thing.”
She was definitely right about that.
The night after my conversation with mum, I woke up to muffled, distressed noises coming from Rem and Mer’s room. I fumbled for my cell phone in the dark and checked the time. Too early. Way too early. I buried my head into the pillow, but the noises continued. It was like Rem was shouting in fear or pain but trying not to be too loud.
Was he having Boogeyman nightmares again? I hoped not. That would probably mean that our lives weren’t getting easier any time soon.
I got up from the bed and walked across the eerily silent corridor to the boys’ room. I cracked the door open and my eyes immediately fell on Rem. He had thrown off in his covers and was tossing and turning in his sleep. His face was twisted up into a grimace and he was muttering unintelligible words and occasionally almost shouting. His hands clutched his pillow almost convulsively.
I sighed. I glanced at Mer, who was sleeping soundly and didn’t seem to be disturbed by his brother’s nightmares. Well, at least that meant that Rem really had got better at keeping some of his powers in check; he kept his dreams to himself now. I sneaked across the room and let my hand hover over Rem’s shoulder. Man, this was awkward. I’d never been natural about shaking people awake.
“Rem?” I whispered, “Rem? Wake up. It’s just a dream.”
No effect. I pressed my mouth into a thin line and then grabbed my brother’s hand and shook him.
All of a sudden we were in a white, empty room that had been decorated by a painter who was really into abstract expressionism. I squeezed my eyes shut so that I wouldn’t scream and wake the others. Rem’s eyes snapped open, and for a moment I could’ve sworn his pupils were gone again. Dark shadows surrounded us, and we both held our breath.
Then Rem finally relaxed, and we were back in Rem and Merrill’s room.
I let go of the hand I had been clutching and slumped onto the floor. Somewhere near me, Rem was breathing heavily, almost choking on air.
It took us several moments to calm down.
I couldn’t believe Merrill was still fast asleep right next to us.
“Wh-what the hell was that?” I finally managed to choke out. I looked up at Rem, whose haunted eyes almost glowed in the dark.
“I…” Rem said quietly, “I don’t know. Vision? They haven’t been this strong since…”
“They pretty much stopped after I started training with Lumi.”
A headache was building up behind my eyeballs. I leaned my back against the ladder of Rem’s bunk bed.
“We really have to take care of this all,” I said, “Maybe your powers are going haywire again when no one’s teaching you. Maybe even because you’re so messed up about that whole argument with the… your other family.”
Rem tucked his knees under his chin, hugging his legs and looking miserable.
“Maybe,” he whispered, “I’m sorry I woke you. And freaked you out.”
“Meh, I’m used to your weirdness.”
Rem managed to almost smile.
“Thanks. And thanks for waking me up.”
“Could you make any sense about your nightmare?”
“Not really. I was just really scared. And I smelled antiseptic. Or dreamed I smelled that. It could’ve also been a flashback of the hospital from after I got shot. Maybe it wasn’t a vision at all.”
“I think I saw shadows when I was pulled into it,” I said, “Didn’t that mean death?”
“Yeah. But my visions have all been tangled together lately. I’m trying to sort them out. It’s like… when I get upset, they get more confusing. And now that I know where I come from… the confusion isn’t so… I don’t know…”
“Focused on one thing?” I suggested.
I ran a hand over my face. I was suddenly sleepy again. The white room and darkness flashed on my retinas, and I shook my head.
“Can you get back to sleep?” I asked, “Because that would be awesome. It’s way too early to be awake.”
“I can try. Thanks again, Lynn.”
When I crashed back into my bed, I was worried for a moment that I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. But I think I was out pretty quickly after settling back under the covers. My dreams were restless and sketchy and had a dark figure stalking someone. I didn’t know whom.
I figured it was Rem’s influence making me see things again. It was worrying and annoying, but I was fairly sure it would pass. It had passed in a few days before. I was prepared for about a week of weird visions at the corner of my eye now that Rem was older and probably more powerful.
I could handle it. A few dark shadows and maybe a messed up dream or two were nothing at this point.
What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was seeing Sabine two days later.
Sure, visiting her had been planned and there was nothing odd about that. I had agreed to help her clean the house again, and she was expecting me after school. I threw my backpack over my shoulder after a rather long school day and was glad I didn’t have homework for tomorrow. I could take my time at Sabine’s place. Clean up the place and maybe have some Sim Cola and a chat with Sabine. I rang the doorbell, and Sabine opened the door.
There was a shadow person standing behind her.
I almost screamed, but then I remembered Rem and the aftereffects of him pulling me into his vision. Sabine frowned.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I quickly shook my head and smiled. The smile was probably fake as hell but it was the best I could do at the moment.
“Nothing. I just thought I saw something… weird.”
“It’s just my face,” Sabine said, and I had to laugh. I blinked furiously while I laughed, and the dark shadow flickered in and out of existence until I was convinced it wasn’t there. Sabine let me in and I started cleaning. I pretended I scrubbed the shadows out too.
I again thought about Sabine’s fading health and Rem’s ominous words about her and the darkness. Now I saw it too. But Rem had told me he’d just seen sparks on darkness before. Maybe she had got worse. Or maybe I was losing it, overthinking things that could have been just random afterimages that meant nothing. I thought about what Rem had said about the shadows referring to death. To a goddess named Tuonetar, as the fairies called her.
I stayed with Sabine until it was getting dark and Sabine finally ushered me out.
“Your parents will get worried if you get stuck here for too long,” she said.
I stopped at the front door and hesitated for a moment before I said.
“Sabine, are you okay?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? Yes! I am!”
I bit my lip.
“Well, um… bye, then. I’ll see you later.”
When I got home, I almost expected mum to ask where I’d been. I usually didn’t stay at Sabine’s for this long. But mum was talking on the phone and didn’t seem too worried about me.
She just waved her hand when I got inside and nodded at the phone to indicate she couldn’t talk. Then she turned her focus back to whoever was on the other end of the call.
“Yes. That would be great. I’ll see you later.”
She put the phone away. I had made it to the stairs, but mum called me back.
I turned. I had celebrated too soon.
“I was at Sabine’s,” I said, “I helped her clean her house.”
“Yeah, you told me you’d go to her after school,” mum said, “That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I just called Kielo.”
I raised a brow.
“Really? Their phone still works?”
“Huh, I could have bet that Kielo had taken it apart out of curiosity ages ago. So… what did you say to her?”
“I asked her and Alvar to come visit us again,” mum said, “To talk. They agreed to come in about two weeks. Apparently spring is busy for them… I think they’re maybe avoiding this whole thing too, but at least they didn’t completely say no to talking.”
“Oh. That’s good. Rem’s really messed up because of this.”
“He is,” mum nodded, “And Patrick isn’t doing so well either. He cries sometimes. Cries. That’s not right.”
It definitely wasn’t.
“Do Rem or Patrick know?” I asked.
“Patrick is at a parent-teacher conference. I’ll tell him when he gets back. Rem knows. He’s upstairs, doing homework, I think.”
“Okay,” I smiled, “Let’s hope this goes well.”
“However it goes, it’s better than doing nothing.”
Maybe things would get better again. Maybe. I hoped so.
I decided that I should do something to make things better too. Our family’s problems felt like something I couldn’t fix on my own, so I turned my attention to Sabine. Sure, I couldn’t fix her problems either, and she didn’t even seem to want my help about some things, but I wanted to do something that would maybe make her less… shadowy. I had asked Rem about Sabine and shadows and he had said that Sabine was indeed sick, but that she was also not doing a whole lot of living either.
“That whole house feels dead,” he said, “Maybe she’s been there for too long so the shadows are even worse than they’d be if she just went out a bit more. Maybe then Tuonetar would leave her alone.”
I wished he’d stop talking about death like it was an actual person. Soon I’d be imagining that too. Then I thought about Sabine for a moment and I had to agree with her house feeling dead.
Sabine’s garden may have looked much neater now, and the house was lovelier inside than it looked from the outside, but it was still a very quiet and sad home. It was beautiful too, but beautiful like frozen, dead flowers were.
I figured it was time to make a plan.
After some contemplation and spending some of my hard-earned cash, my plan was ready and I made my way to Sabine’s house dressed in somewhat presentable clothes. Telling mum about my plan had had the benefit of mum being all too happy to pitch in, so I could afford a really nice-looking vest that went well together with my black, ruffled skirt. I rang Sabine’s doorbell, and she answered quickly enough.
“Bonsoir,” I greeted.
“Well, don’t you look fancy,” Sabine replied, “I like the vest.”
“Thanks!” I beamed at her, “You should get dressed up too, because I’ve got tickets to Sunset Valley’s symphony orchestra’s concert.”
Sabine looked at me as if I’d spontaneously sprouted deer horns.
I took the tickets out of my skirt’s hidden pocket and waved them at her.
“I’m going to get you out of the house. Idealism or not, the weather’s awesome and you like classical music. I think today they’re actually also playing songs from some film soundtracks.”
Sabine stared at me blankly. All my previous confidence and enthusiasm about my plan started to fade away. I was suddenly sure that Sabine would say no. That she didn’t even want out of her shadow house and her memories. Her safe bubble where people didn’t think of her as a witch.
But then, after a moment of silence, she actually smiled.
“Oh, okay then. Let me go change into something fancier than these old rags.”
I almost let out a whoop of victory, but felt that would have been a bit too uncool.
Around five o’clock we were standing in front of the city hall, where the concert hall was also located. I’d always thought it was a neat way to give a nicer image to a usually very dull building filled with offices and bureaucracy. I smiled at Sabine, who looked much less dead and much more… well, radiant in an old formal dress and with her hair up even more neatly than usually. She was leaning quite heavily on her cane, but she managed to keep her back almost straight. She looked up at the city hall and then shook her head.
“Well, I guess we should go in, then. I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
“You’ll love it,” I assured her, feeling the confidence returning. I helped Sabine up the stairs and we walked into the world of light and music.
Sabine had liked it. I’d sneaked glances at her face during the concert, and her slightly bitter, tough exterior had melted away into smiles. She had closed her eyes at several points, her fingers quietly following some of the melodies as if she was playing some invisible instrument. I was so happy that I almost forgot to follow the concert. But it was good. I wasn’t usually that into symphony orchestras, but I liked good music and seeing people who were skilled at something using their skills. So it was definitely something I could get behind. And Sabine’s excitement kind of got me enthusiastic about it all too. So when the last notes were played, I wanted more.
We walked outside and ended up sitting at a fountain in the central park that was situated across from the city hall. Sabine took several deep breaths as if she had forgotten what fresh air smelled like. She smiled at me.
“Well, you were right,” she said, “It was a very nice change to the old routines.”
“I thought so,” I said.
“I hope you didn’t waste too much money on this. Those tickets aren’t cheap.”
“Hey, it’s my money. I earned it and I do what I want with it.”
Sabine sighed. She stood up and turned her back on me, walked up to one of the small ponds in the park, again breathing in deep.
I followed her to a skinny tree and heard frogs croaking drowsily somewhere near the lily pads in the pond. It was one of those perfectly picturesque Sunset Valley spring nights. The sun had set, but its warm, pink traces were still in the air. Spring flowers smelled sweet and were shining even in the falling dark. A cold breeze ruffled the grass and would have been a bit more pleasant if I’d remembered to pack some kind of jacket. My sleeveless top and vest weren’t doing anything against the cooling night.
But I didn’t care much about the cold at that moment. I was more worried about what I’d said wrong to Sabine now. She seemed tense, leaning to her cane and looking very fragile again despite her elegant clothes and proud air. A queen of a forgotten kingdom, who had spent too much time locked up in a tower.
“Thank you,” Sabine finally said, “For arranging all this. And I’m sorry that I haven’t been very appreciative of everything you’ve done for me.”
I didn’t say anything. I think Sabine knew that I knew that she really did appreciate what I did. And it wasn’t like I was just being altruistic; Sabine was a friend I liked spending time with.
“It’s just… confusing,” Sabine went on, looking into the distance, “To have someone who cares again. I don’t think I’ve had friends in years. Everyone else is already gone.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Oh, don’t be. That’s the natural way of life. We’re here for a while, and then we go… Some too early, and some maybe too late.”
She looked at me and smiled, and it was like years had vanished from her face in that moment.
“But really, Lynn. Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Sabine’s smile lingered in the night even as we started walking back to my car and towards our homes.
I convinced myself then that everything would be alright. Kielo and Alvar would visit soon, and we could talk things through. That would hopefully make Rem and Patrick and everyone happier again. And it would make our family feel less tangled. I visited Sabine and spent some time with my other friends too, and school days went by as we waited for more pieces to fall into place.
It was all going to be alright, I dared to say.
And that was of course when the lingering shadows in my mind made my alarm bells ring one evening.
I couldn’t explain it. I got a bad feeling soon after school and dropped my homework and went to Rem’s room.
“Rem? You know that thing you do that makes you have premonitions?”
“Of course,” Rem said.
“I think the bit you accidentally transferred into me is acting up. I think something’s wrong.”
Rem looked at me with wide eyes.
“With Sabine?” he asked, “You’ve been worried about her, right?”
Pieces did fall into place, then. But not in the way I wanted.
“Oh, shit,” I said, “I have to go.”
I spun around and ran to our car and then sped towards Sabine’s home. As I drove, rain started ominously drumming against the car roof. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I had to be there. I thought about the shadows and cursed them in my mind. Sabine was more alive now. She had to be alright! She had to.
I parked the car clumsily when I reached Sabine’s waterlogged house and ran to the front door. No one answered when I rang the doorbell or knocked, and that made me worried. Sabine was never out of the house alone.
She had given me the keys to her place about a year ago, when I’d started helping her more and more. I fumbled with them for a moment before I got the door open with shaky hands.
“Sabine?” I said as soon as I stepped inside, “Are you okay?”
The house was silent except for the TV, where a cheesy cooking show was in full swing. I almost had time to think that I’d been silly and that Sabine was probably just taking a nap.
And that was when I saw her.
She hadn’t even been in good enough condition to change out of her nightgown or put her hair up. It was so weird to see her so… ungroomed. Or it would have been if I hadn’t been too preoccupied with the fact that she was lying face-down on the floor.
I froze for a mind-numbing second before I got my body to move. I crouched down next to Sabine’s unmoving form and shook her. She was probably having some kind of stroke. She was still breathing, but her limbs were stiff and her eyes were unfocused.
“Sabine? Sabine? Sabine!”
I realised I was just repeating her name like a mantra, like it would somehow help anything. I mentally shook myself.
Stupid! She needs an ambulance!
I scrambled back to my feet and called the emergency number. My voice was shaking and I was probably whining hysterically for most of the call – I don’t really remember. But the voice on the other end was calm and knew what they were doing, so they must have got the right answers out of me.
“The ambulance will be there shortly. Can you wait there with her?”
“Of course!” I almost shouted, “I’m not going anywhere. Just hurry, please!”
“We will, of course. Thank you for your help. You can now hang up.”
I stared at Sabine’s slack face when I ended the call. Apparently there wasn’t much I could do. Sabine was already on her side, so I just adjusted her a bit so that she was able to breathe for sure. Then I backed against the front door of the small house and slid down. I hugged my knees and tried to take deep breaths.
“It’s okay, Sabine,” I said to her, or maybe more to myself, “Help is on its way. You’ll be on your feet in no time. You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”
I pressed my back against the door and tried to listen to the sirens that were no doubt on their way.
You’ll be okay. You have to be.
The calm voice on the phone had told me it would take a few minutes for the ambulance to get there. To me, it felt like eternities. The clock on the wall kept ticking, and Sabine kept breathing too slowly. The seconds seemed to stretch on forever. Shadows were gathering around me again, shaping themselves into people.
Get out, shadows! You’re so not wanted here!
They were the last thing I wanted to see. The echoes of Rem’s power had helped me get to Sabine in time, and that was awesome, but right now I didn’t want to see anything I didn’t need to. All I wanted to see was help arriving right on time.
“It’s fine… it’s just fine…” I whispered to myself, “You’ll be fine, Sabine. You’ll be-“
The shadows moved and solidified.
All of a sudden I realised I was looking at a pair of mismatched trainers and long, skinny legs. The legs were walking towards Sabine. I blinked.
I looked up and saw a woman. She definitely didn’t look like a paramedic.
Besides, the sirens were still in the distance. I could already hear them, but they were still on their way.
“Hey!” I managed to shout, “What the hell are you doing here?”
The woman halted and turned to look at me. My breath caught in my throat when my eyes fell on her pretty but somehow not-quite-right face and her too pale, moonlit eyes.
“Well, this is unexpected,” she said, her voice coming from somewhere far away.
I would have screamed, but I was too scared, too paralyzed to do anything for a moment.
I knew who she was.
“Please, don’t-“ I choked out, but the woman shook her head and turned back towards Sabine.
Then she was gone.
I never did figure out if she had been real. If I’d just been seeing things in my panic or if it was Rem’s powers letting me see what was normally hidden. At that moment, I was sure I’d been imagining her.
But then I forgot all about her for a long while, because I realised that Sabine had stopped breathing.
I had to get away. Nausea and terror and panic drove out all coherent thoughts, and before I knew it I was running.
I didn’t make it farther than the porch. My legs failed me, collapsed like a cheap folding chair. The sirens were closer now, but I already knew they were too late.
I started sobbing uncontrollably.
Author’s Note: I’m sorry guys! It took me way too long to get this out! I’ve been spinning this chapter around and around in my head and trying to make it work because… well, death. It’s tricky and heavy to write. And when I finally started writing this chapter, I was suddenly swarmed by so much schoolwork and other stuff that I barely had any time or energy to really sit down and finish this. So I’ve had to sit on this for days so I can edit it little by little. But it’s here now. It’s done. And I’m super tired.
So yeah… um… well, I hope you enjoyed even though there’s character death. And even though I may not be at my best because I’m really worn out because of all the stress and work. Maybe things’ll get a bit less busy soon. I hope.
Also yes, Tuonetar who may or may not have been there might prove that this story happens in a universe that’s not exactly the same as my Tango -universe, but somewhat close to it? I do think it’s a different universe, because the magic rules are different and there’s not as many supernaturals. Also no, she was totally not needed there but this whole scene was stuck in my head like this for so long that I had to keep it this way.
I’ll see you later and try to get some updates done when I have time and energy. Thanks for your patience, people!